Time to Set Some Boundaries
Say no to people pleasing in 2023.
People pleasing.
It’s more than being nice to people. It’s more than saying yes when you don’t want to.
It’s a pattern of behaviour that without realising, takes you far away from your authentic self.
Putting everyone’s feelings and desires before yours.
You say yes even though you absolutely want to say no, but the thought of having any sort of conflict feels too much, so that’s right, you say yes.
You have an internal desire to make sure everyone around you is happy, even if you didn’t realise this is to the detriment of yourself, or in some cases maybe you do.
You look in awe of those around you who can so freely say no, grab what they want and put boundaries in place.
It’s overwhelming with the amount you have agreed to take on and commit to and when you don’t have the perfect connection with someone, it hits 10 x harder.
This can sound all too familiar and the truth, babes, it’s not serving you.
Enough is enough to sacrificing yourself to keep the peace.
I get it, it’s all very well saying ‘oh yeah great, enough is enough, I won’t do it anymore’, but you and I both know the narrative goes a lot deeper than that.
Think about yourself in recent conversations and situations, are you being conflict avoidant?
The idea of disagreeing or being in the face of conflict is simply not an option, right?
These narratives build over a long period of time and it’s down to you when you are ready for that exploration.
What you haven’t noticed though is you have abandoned yourself.
Babes, what are your values, your needs, and your desires?
How do YOU feel? What do YOU want to do?
But, where to start?
Well, the question I really want to ask is what is it worth to show up as your true, authentic self, every single day?
Starting to set small boundaries.
Setting boundaries and finding boundaries that serve you can be really challenging and difficult to navigate. However, when you find yourself falling back into people pleasing mode you are telling yourself that your needs, values, wants and desires aren’t as important. If those around you are happy, that’s all that matters even if that means your health isn’t.
Try to alter your vocabulary. Each request doesn’t always need an apology and a yes.
Try to create space between you and the request.
Use phrases such as “let me get back to you”, giving yourself time to process the request.
After this offer the no.
You don’t want to create more overwhelm so don’t move too fast.
Start small and start to feel a shift. Setting boundaries might feel spikey initially but being honest is number 1.
This is where having the best people for you, around you, make coming to decisions with kindness and honesty a hell of a lot easier. Respecting other people’s boundaries and having people that respect yours is important.
Let me know how you get on and if you would like to and feel ready to explore deeper, MoreMoxie is here.
You’ve got this babes x
