Feelings of being out your depth, feelings of fraudulence, feelings of being an imposter.
First things first, right here right now I am banning the phrase “Imposter Syndrome”.
It’s said that over 75% of us feel at some stage feelings of being an imposter but I am sure it’s higher than that.
I want you to sit with this for a minute. Has there been a time in your life when you have felt an imposter? Not deserving or a fraud?
How does it make you feel? What does it stop you from doing? How does it change your energy? What do you feel in your body?
You may wonder why I am banning the phrase imposter syndrome. I am not undermining the feelings of being an outside or an imposter I am banning the narrative that it’s a disease or “syndrome”, that you have something wrong.
We could all agree that if everyone was the same, the world would be boring, as Maya Angelou once said, “diversity makes for a rich tapestry”, which I adore so much.
Yet when we are in an environment where we might be standing out, different from others, achieving differently, dreaming differently, anything that makes us feel different we struggle to navigate the path.
Let’s look at this from a scientific viewpoint, our brain is doing what it’s supposed to for us, it’s keeping us safe, safe from danger whether that’s psychological or physical. Our brain is millions of years old, and its primary role is for survival, to keep us away from danger, whatever the threat.
When thinking about a situation where you have felt imposter ‘syndrome’ whether that it’s in education, your career, perhaps an event or achievement it tends to be linked to a new situation or environment for you. So, technically you are an imposter.
But why is that such a bad thing? Why does it take over us so much that prevents us from making moves in the future? Prevents us from having conversations in fear of confirmation of our darkest concerns.
We are constantly levelling up, growing and evolving. If we knew everything straight away there wouldn’t be different levels, lessons and opportunities. We set ourselves unrealistic expectations of how we should act, look and feel.
The feelings that evolve from “destination lack”, what are we measuring these against?
Measuring through our own lens of success or someone else’s? Do we even know what it means and feels to have success in our own narrative?
How are we supposed to be, look and feel in this new environment?
It’s not about irradicating feelings of imposter, this is human nature. To feel out our comfort zone, have self-doubt and uncertainty. It’s about turning this force for good. To use for our advantage, not to cripple us and cause us to withdraw (whether that’s consciously or unconsciously!).
Being aware, unpick it and learn to harness it.
It’s not something that will go away, it’s not something we ‘overcome’ because they are very real actions and feelings that we feel.
It’s about taking actions when these thoughts arise, we can question it, questions it’s driving force and get curious with our own psychology.
If you are feeling this now here are 4 questions you can include for your journaling to ask yourself.
- Where is it coming from?
- How useful is it?
- What do I want to do about it?
- How do I want to feel?
From here this will help you see how it’s not serving you and where you want to be and help you create the action towards question 3&4 of where to next.
You prove through your action that you know what you are doing.
It’s not about erasing feelings of imposter, it’s feeling them, acknowledging them, questioning them and stilltaking action.
You are only ever 1mm or 1% off a completely different direction, change, path, experience.
Granted, there are external factors that you can’t control which is why creating certainty internally and focusing on your own personal development is so important.
Be open, learn, grow and embody all of it!
“It is what it is” does not have to be.
Remember feeling this is normal, letting it change and impact you to stop your journey, that is your choice.